TO CELEBRATE bostonian devlin flying to Amsterdam

in august to work his magic throughout an open

studio period at peer, here's his 'one time ii'

one time ii



One time this girl who tricked me texted me these exact texts:

-here’s what’s gna happen

-you come to cambridge. I’ll buy you two drinks

-I owe you from last time anyway

-just say yes


I turned to the stormtroopers next to me and repeated

-We don’t need to see his identification

-These aren’t the droids we’re looking for

-You can go about your business

-Move along


The first Gin & Tonic tasted like neither of us wanted to be there so I made my next one a Bengali from Six Point

My leg was a tree limb that had grown too far over the powerlines

and when my texting buddy accidentally touched it the camel’s back broke and the city council members decided to take it down

She didn’t touch my leg again

She had a new tattoo

Like most twenty somethings we were talking about death with her two friends and about how we could theoretically still live the way we always wanted


I didn’t trust any of their opinions about death because I saw my boy Avi *pour it out* on his dorm bed that time and knew that death likes to send dogs when he spreads legs

I’ve seen death so close I could tell he too is a shepherd


We decided on a new bar where the $6 dollar cover can suck my dick

As we walked my texting buddy looked at me once to say “we don’t have to stay long”

I used my last $20 dollars to get us in

The band was awesome for 8 minutes


My texting buddy had made it very clear

by her toothless smiles that I was a placeholder on a double date

She was standing still when I was compelled to look around

Beautiful people were dandelions interrupted by red sox hats


There was a weird group of guys in the very back gambling in slacks that had too much break

I saw a woman with blonde hair that was french braided

She was staring at me and instead of ripping her eyes away in horror like I did she waved to me

I imagined a gazelle ignoring a lion it noticed in the tall grass

My eyes sprinted across the walls until they stopped on the atm screen to my left where another woman was finishing her transaction

She had a $20 in her hands and $40.76 left in her account

The blue background of the screen rearranged itself into Obi Wan Kenobi and Yoda and Avi and Leighton and Tobes and Grandpa Bob and Doc Five and others who I had never seen

I felt my right ass cheek burn and checked to see my debit card seduced

Gin spilled out of my eyes and it was suddenly blood on the night triple deuce impaled my chest and I threw my face at the ground to kiss my grave, to submit to dogs barking in the night

It was Bombay Sapphire

It cost me $40.76 that night and I only bought it cause that was exactly how much money I had


The Lion touched my shoulder and introduced herself

I said

“Sorry, I was nervous too. That girl only has $40.76 left in her bank account.”

A tarantula crawled out of my mouth

“Why are your glasses crooked?” Asked the lion

“They’re crooked because I broke them one time when I was drinking Bombay Sapphire. I also broke my nose that night, so they’re doubly crooked.”

“Why haven’t you fixed them?”

“I keep them crooked for my dogs. I lost some of them, but the ones I have left know what to look for. The scar on my nose is a landmark for the sheep of my pastures. Should they ever stray too far to know the way, they can follow the scar.”

Like most twenty somethings, we were talking about death.